Coaching Athletes to Be Their Best by Stephen Rollnick: Book Summary & Notes
A game-changing framework for coaches who want to stop pushing athletes and start partnering with them for deeper, longer-lasting growth.
🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences
Motivation isn’t something you give to athletes—it’s something you draw out of them through skilful conversation.
Motivational Interviewing (MI) is a practical framework for helping athletes resolve ambivalence, take ownership, and commit to meaningful change.
The best coaches create a space where athletes feel heard, respected, and empowered—this is what drives performance and personal growth.
🎨 Reflections
This book flips the traditional coach-athlete dynamic on its head.
It’s not about giving motivational speeches or pushing harder—it’s about listening better, asking smarter questions, and inviting athletes to own their development. Rollnick doesn’t just preach empathy; he operationalises it.
The result is a playbook for building deeper trust, igniting internal drive, and coaching with influence instead of control.
👤 Who Should Read It?
Coaches who want to motivate without lecturing
Skill trainers and psychologists who want to work with athletes, not on them
Parents of young athletes trying to support development without pressure
Leaders in any field where performance and mindset go hand-in-hand
Anyone who’s ever felt stuck trying to “help” someone change
☘️ How the Book Changed Me
I talk less and listen more—especially when athletes are struggling.
I now frame feedback as a collaboration, not a verdict.
I’ve stopped trying to fix athletes and instead help them find their own reasons for improving.
It reshaped how I define success: not just execution, but engagement and ownership.
✍️ My Top 3 Quotes
“The righting reflex is strong in coaches. But often, what an athlete needs most is to feel heard.”
“Ambivalence is not resistance—it’s the doorway to change.”
“Good coaching conversations are more about drawing out than pouring in.”
📒 Key Concepts & Notes
🎧 Motivational Interviewing (MI): A Coach’s Superpower
What it says: MI is a conversational method rooted in empathy, designed to help people resolve ambivalence and strengthen commitment to change.
Why it matters: Athletes often know what they should do—they just don’t feel ready, supported, or clear on how to act.
How to use it: Use open questions, affirmations, reflections, and summaries (OARS) to guide conversations that invite, rather than impose, change.
❌ The “Righting Reflex” is the Enemy of Growth
What it says: Coaches often want to fix problems immediately. But this shuts down athlete thinking and autonomy.
Why it matters: Change imposed from the outside rarely lasts. Change chosen from within does.
How to use it: When tempted to give advice, pause. Ask a question instead. Invite the athlete to reflect.
🔥 Change Talk is the Fuel of Motivation
What it says: When athletes verbalise their own desire, reasons, or ability to change, they strengthen their motivation.
Why it matters: What athletes say predicts what they’ll do.
How to use it: Listen for “change talk” (e.g., “I need to improve my recovery”), affirm it, and reflect it back.
🧭 Ambivalence is Normal, Not a Problem
What it says: Athletes can want two opposing things at once—like playing more minutes and also skipping conditioning. That’s ambivalence.
Why it matters: Trying to force them to “choose right” too soon causes resistance.
How to use it: Explore both sides. Say, “What do you like about that choice? And what worries you about it?”
💬 OARS = Core Skills of MI
Open Questions – “What’s something you’d like to work on this week?”
Affirmations – “You’ve shown real consistency lately.”
Reflections – “Sounds like you’re torn between pushing through and playing it safe.”
Summaries – “So you’re saying you want to be fitter, but it’s tough to stay motivated when results are slow. Did I get that right?”
👂 Listening Builds Trust
What it says: Deep, non-judgmental listening tells the athlete, “You matter. I care. I believe in you.”
Why it matters: Trust is the foundation for any influence or growth.
How to use it: Listen to understand, not to respond. Mirror emotions. Validate perspectives. Ask before advising.
🪞 Autonomy is Non-Negotiable
What it says: You can’t force motivation. You can only create the conditions where it grows.
Why it matters: Athletes are more likely to act when they feel choice, not control.
How to use it: Offer options. Ask for permission before giving feedback. Encourage self-reflection.
🏀 Coaches’ Corner: 5 Takeaways to Use This Week
Flip the Script
Instead of saying “You need to be more focused,” ask: “What helps you lock in before a game?”Use the Change Talk Mirror
When an athlete says, “I’ve been thinking I need to eat better,” reply with: “That sounds important to you. What’s been getting in the way?”Practice “Permission-Based Feedback”
Before correcting a player, ask: “Do you want some feedback on that, or would you rather reflect on it first?”Normalise Ambivalence
When an athlete hesitates to commit, say: “It makes sense to feel torn. What part of you wants to move forward, and what’s holding you back?”End Practice with a Motivational Prompt
Try: “What’s one thing you did today that you’re proud of?” or “What do you want to build on tomorrow?”